“We the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance
of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote
positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free
liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren,
hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common
sense guidelines. We hold these truths to be self evident:
that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of
Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.”

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big
screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if
you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing
anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended.
This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for
everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the
channel, express a different opinion, etc; but the world is
full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from
harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be
more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make
you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and
housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be
found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are
quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation
of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than
the creation of another generation of professional couch
potatoes .

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care.
That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing,
we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm
other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or
kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want
to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions
of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or
services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the
rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where
you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV
or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job.
All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly
help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being
an American means that you have the right to PURSUE
happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are
unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by
those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We
don’t care where you are from, English is our language.
Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

Lastly….)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our
country’s history or heritage. This country was founded
on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the
freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith
at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE
TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are
uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

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